Hello, beautiful humans!
Today, we’re diving into an exciting, sometimes stress enducing, or even overlooked part of the parenting journey: picking your parental name! It’s a topic especially relevant for queer and gender nonconforming parents, who may not always resonate with traditional parental titles like ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad.’
Choosing your parental name can be an opportunity for self-expression, allowing you to select a term that feels authentic to you and your journey. It’s all about embracing a name that rings true to your identity. Let’s explore a palette of potential names and celebrate the unique parenting identities in our diverse community! This is in no way an exhaustive list – the world is yours – but we were hoping to share with you some of our experiences and some ready made options that we came across in the process to hopefully, spark inspiration.
Classic Options with a Twist
Some queer parents might find that the traditional ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’ work just fine, and that’s great! Others may want to embrace a little twist. If two parents identify as mothers, for example, they might differentiate by adopting variations like ‘Mama’ and ‘Mommy.’ Similarly, two fathers might go for ‘Dad’ and ‘Papa.’ Some folks add an intial to differenciate (Looking at you: Momma B and Momma T).
Neutral and Unique Parental Names
For nonbinary, genderqueer, or gender nonconforming parents, gendered titles might not feel comfortable. The beauty is, there’s no shortage of gender-neutral options to choose from. Here are just a few:
- Baba: This term is used in many cultures around the world, from Chinese to Swahili, often carrying a meaning akin to ‘father.’ However, in the queer community, it’s been embraced as a gender-neutral alternative.
- Ren: Derived from ‘parent,’ this term is short, sweet, and to the point.
- Maddy: A combination of ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy,’ this title strikes a balance for parents who feel connected to both roles.
- Pommy or Dommy: These playful names blend ‘Papa’ or ‘Daddy’ with ‘Mommy.’
- Zaza, Zizi, or Didi: These are catchy, and kids often find them easy to pronounce. They’re unique and stand out from the traditional parental name crowd.
- Peri: This name is another one derived from the word ‘parent,’ offering a gender-neutral option that still feels familiar.
Remember, these are just a handful of possibilities. There’s a whole world of names out there, and you can even create your own!
The Journey to Your Name
Deciding on a parental name is a personal journey. You might want to consider how the name sounds with your child’s first words, how it might grow with them, or how you’d feel being called this in public.
Consult with your partner if you have one, ponder on it, and test different names out loud. You might not settle on the perfect name before your child arrives, and that’s okay, too. Some parents prefer to wait and see what organic nickname their little one comes up.
A beautiful aspect of the queer and gender nonconforming community is the freedom to create and innovate, to set traditions that fit our authentic selves rather than relying on reordained social scripts. Choosing your parental name is a beautiful part of this journey, an intimate declaration of your unique role in your child’s life. Don’t let anyone else’s opinion cloud that experience for you.
No Wrong Option
There’s an unparalleled beauty in the diversity of queer parenting. It allows us to question, reshape, and expand the boundaries of parenthood, affirming that the heart of parenting lies in love, guidance, and care, not in traditional labels, scripts, gender roles, or titles.
Whether you’re a Mom, Dad, Baba, Maddy, Zaza, or an entirely unique title, remember: What makes you a parent is the love and dedication you bring into your child’s life. And kids are blank slates. they aren’t coming into the world with a preference for names (sure some sounds are easier for developing minds, etc), they really just want to figure out perfect sound that gets you to feed them/ love them/see them when their tiny tyrantical hearts desire…
Anywho, don’t forget to give yourself some grace! All these decisions will take care of themselves. You’re doing great.
Warmly, QPC Fam