The diverse and beautifully multifaceted spectrum of families across the globe paints a vibrant picture of love, unity, and acceptance. To us, queer parenting stands as an essential part of this global familial tapestry. But what is it? To us, queer parenting refers to individuals and couples within the LGBTQ+ community who are raising children, supporting children, or maybe even just contemplating children. This can include cisgender and transgender individuals, same-sex couples, bisexual individuals, polyamorous units, those who identify as non-binary or genderqueer, or even heterosexual couples wishing to approach family building outside the norm.
While the term ‘queer’ was once pejorative, it has been reclaimed by the LGBTQ+ community as a positive umbrella term for those who aren’t heterosexual and/or cisgender. As we hope to highlight (and eventually illustrate through our own content) queer parenting today encompasses a wide range of familial setups, acknowledging the beautiful diversity inherent in our modern understanding of family.
Understanding the Landscape of Queer Parenting
For all parents, building a family with children can be a unique journey, one often filled with various paths and possibilities. This only becomes more complex when one or more of the parental hopefuls is queer, trans, or otherwise a member of the LGBTIQA+ community (i.e. navigating stigma, financial barriers, laws varying by state in the U.S.) Some queer parents conceive children biologically, either through assisted reproductive technologies like artificial insemination/intrauterine insemination (IUI) or in vitro fertilization (IVF) or sometimes from former relationships with opposite sex partners. Other persons/families adopt or foster children, while some step into parenting through blending families in subsequent relationships.
Regardless of the ‘how’ we believe shared love, support, and a commitment to nurturing the growth and development are the traits that make a family.
Navigating the Unique Challenges of Queerness
Parenting is f*ckin’ hard. And queer parenting is not without its unique challenges. Queer parents frequently encounter prejudice and discrimination due to societal misconceptions and legal inequities. In some regions, legal hurdles remain, including legal obstacles related to adoption and child custody rights. Furthermore, queer parents often have to prepare for or address the curiosity, lack of knowledge, or even blatent bias they or their children may encounter from peers, educators, and other adults.
Nevertheless, queer parents, like all parents, navigate these challenges with resilience, empathy, and love. Bailey and Emily work hard to create supportive environments whereever they are and their families are no exception. It is our shared goal to share in our life lessons as we live them, to help all parents feel less alone on this most wonderous journey, but specifically, we hope to serve our queer folk.
The Strengths of Queer Parenting
Despite the hurdles, research has consistently shown that children raised in queer households fare just as well emotionally, socially, and academically as those from heterosexual households (Manning, Fettro, & Lamedi, 2013). This dismantles the baseless myth that children need a mother and father to thrive.
In fact, queer parenting often brings unique strengths. Many queer parents consciously create an environment that celebrates diversity and inclusivity, promoting open-mindedness and empathy. Their children often grow to be more tolerant and accepting of differences, which are vital skills in our diverse world.
Furthermore, because queer families are often formed through a deliberate and intentional process, whether it’s IVF, adoption, or fostering, the children in these families are incredibly wanted and cherished. This intentionality can result in a strong familial bond and a nurturing family environment.
Queer Parenthood: An Essential Part of the Parenting Spectrum
Queer parenting is an integral part of the diversity in family structures today, shattering the outdated notion that families can only exist in one format. It exemplifies the universality of parental love, transcending the boundaries of sexual orientation and gender identity.
The journey of queer parenthood is, in essence, a testament to resilience, love, and the beauty of family diversity. It serves as a vibrant reminder that families aren’t just made up of a specific type or configuration of individuals; they are built on love, care, and mutual respect.
Queer parents, through their unique journeys, are reshaping the concept of family, teaching the world that love, not societal norms, forms the foundation of a nurturing home. As we continue to champion a more inclusive, understanding society, we must recognize and celebrate the myriad of ways in which families form, grow, and thrive.
The Future of Queer Parenting
As the landscape of queer parenting continues to evolve, society must also keep pace with its progress. This means actively dismantling legal and societal barriers that impact queer parents, from access to reproductive technologies and adoption rights, to biases in family law.
Educational institutions play a significant role in this progression. School curriculums should reflect diverse family structures, fostering a culture of acceptance and inclusivity. Additionally, institutions should offer resources to support children from queer families, acknowledging and addressing the unique experiences they might encounter.
Beyond institutions, every one of us can contribute to fostering an environment of acceptance and understanding. By educating ourselves and those around us, we can challenge harmful stereotypes and misconceptions about queer parenting.
The Power of Storytelling
Blogs, social media platforms, and community events have provided spaces for queer parents to share their experiences and offer advice, forming a strong, supportive network. These stories hold tremendous power – they affirm, educate, inspire, and promote understanding.
In our increasingly interconnected world, these narratives are more accessible than ever, serving as a resource for prospective queer parents, as well as anyone seeking to understand the breadth and depth of human experiences.
Let’s Wrap This Up
Queer parenting, like all parenting, is a journey filled with joy, challenges, growth, and profound love. It expands our understanding of family, teaching us that love and commitment transcend all boundaries.
In celebrating queer parenting we are not only acknowledging the rich diversity of family structures, but we are moving towards a more inclusive, understanding, and compassionate society – one where every family, no matter how it looks, is celebrated for the love it embodies. The story of queer parenting is an essential chapter in our collective human narrative, a testament to the universality of love and the enduring strength of family. We hope that at worse you enjoy our stories or learn a little bit along with us and at best, maybe even join us in celebrating yourselves in every, single step towards parenthood you take.
Go with grace (mostly for yourself).
Warmly,
QPC Team, B & E
References:
Manning WD, Fettro MN, Lamidi E. Child Well-Being in Same-Sex Parent Families: Review of Research Prepared for American Sociological Association Amicus Brief. Popul Res Policy Rev. 2014 Aug 1;33(4):485-502. doi: 10.1007/s11113-014-9329-6. PMID: 25018575; PMCID: PMC4091994.